It really makes you wonder how much you must really mean to all the people you know currently when so many people have just walked out of your life without an explanation, without leaving any trace of anything. It’s always abrupt, always unexpected. It just happens. And most of the time they never come back, no matter how long you wait. Sometimes they never even meant that much to you to begin with, but they mean more to you the more you think about them, the longer they take to come back, the more you wonder what went wrong.
These are the things I think about the most when I’m laying in bed, throwing the covers around and staring into the blackness of my room as I try to make out little shapes around my room that are barely visible. Anything to keep my mind off these people. But to no avail, my mind wraps itself around each person and the conversations and memories that I have had with them. Most of the time, I feel a stinging sadness and lingering feeling of betrayal rooted in my core. Other times my hands curls into fists of anger, confusion, bitterness.
Every night like this ends the same no matter how I feel: tears.